Itachi The Vampire
by Hidden-In-Darkness
Summary: Happy Halloween greetings from Itachi! Itachi goes to a party for the worst rouge ninja in the bingo books and hooks up! Sees some unwanted faces during the party. Back off the sugar and sake Itachi, here comes an old Halloween oneshot of mine!
1. Itachi The Vampire

Wow, this is OLD. And I mean, back when I was a crazy-psycho-with-a-dirty-mind-who-ate-too-much-candy! October 30 2007. This is now one year later. I had a sucky format back then. So here it is, reformed, redone, and reawesomed. Oh, and the original is at the bottom, nothing changed nothing different. Nah, I'll just put it as the next chapter. You guys get to see my early days as a writer. Exciting eh? There are some still like that on my old account. I'll put it up tomorrow.

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**Itachi The Vampire**

"Hey Itachi are you planning to dress up for Halloween this year?!" Kisame asked walking up the sullen Itachi, emo as ever.

"I don't celebrate Kisame." Itachi said flat and cold.

"Oh come on. You have to! Have some candy at least!" He urged.

"Go away before I kill you Kisame." He threatened."

"Now that's the spirit!" Kisame said cheerfully.

Itachi glared at him.

"I know have it." Kisame said and "accidentally" dropped a paper on the ground as he walked away.

"What's this?" Itachi picked up

_You're invited to the 15__th__ annual Rouge Ninja Halloween Extravaganza!_

_Friday, October 31__st_

_There will be tons of fun and a costume contest! So dress your best!_

_Every rouge ninja in the bingo books will be there! From the basic rouge ninja to the baddest of the bad!_

_(Blah, blah, blah)_

_We hope to see you there!_

" _Hmm… I wonder. Should I go?" _Itachi pondered over this question.

------Halloween-----

-----Random Green Day song playing in background------

"Hey!! Itachi! You made it!!" Kisame said wearing an outfit from the 70's.

"Shut up." Itachi said wearing black and what looks like fake vampire teeth.

"I love your costume!" Kisame said kissing his ass, metaphorically, of course, Itachi wouldn't let his filth do that to him.

"I hate yours." The emoness and insults continued.

Kisame sulked away and to annoy someone else.

Itachi walked up to the bar and ordered a Bloody Mary.

(A/N: Get it! Vampire! Bloody Mary! Get it?! … No?! … Okay… I'm sorry.)

"So what's your story?" The bartender asked.

Itachi looked up and is stricken by shock. "YOU!"

"Aye, it is." The bartender said walking out of the shadows.

"HOOK!!"

"Yea, see where they be making me work now? These stupid parties." The Ex-Captain Hook said.

"Aren't you in the wrong show?" He asked confused.

"Yes, but I work all the works." Hook said.

"I see." Itachi looked around, knocked Hook over the head with his drink, and ran until he ran into someone.

"Well hello there Itachi." Orochimaru said smiling like a rapist.

"AAAAHHHH!!!" Itachi tried to run away.

Orochimaru held onto Itachi's arm. "Oh come on Itachi, my old gang member."

"We kicked you out of the Akatsuki because you thought you were black and gangster! You're really just a rapist from NeverLand! … Explains why Hook is here.

"But, I am gangster. Look at me." He pointed to his clothes.

Itachi closed eyes. "YOU'RE NOT GANGSTER!!" He ran away and ran into someone else. "Oh crap, who is it this time?!!"

He looked up.

"Hi." A random hot rouge ninja guy said.

"Hi." Itachi said liking what had appeared before him.

"I-I like your teeth." The random hot rouge ninja guy said.

"Thanks." Itachi said, grabbed him and bite him on the next… playfully and Orochimaru style.

AAAHHH!! ENDING STORY! Ahem… you don't want to know the end.

------O.O-----

Whoever thinks Kisame is the most annoying and worthless piece of fish you ever seen raise your hand. Or if you believe Orochimaru is REALLY MJ raise your hand. Also, people who think: Sasuke is the Ultima Emo Kid, Sakura is a retard, Guy and Lee are either related or together in some way, there's no way Temari's fan can be recreated in real life with actual size and weight and not be a ton or two, who have wanted to shoot Ino at some point in the show/manga and who think Gaara is AWESOME, raise your hand.

(People raise hands)

Now I shall give those people candy. I think just about EVERYONE should have had their hands raised, by at least the first one. HAPPY HALLOWEEN PEOPLE! GIANT BLUE PIXIE STIX FOR ME!!! BWAHAHAHA!! THE WORLD HAS EVERYTHING TO FEAR!!


	2. Itachi The Vampire original

Now this is the second chapter, not really a second chapter. This is just something special for you guys to see a story in it's originally form as it was a year before I even looked at it again. It's sucky, it has mistakes, and I didn't have spell check back then. Boy how I love Microsoft Word.

Now I present to you, Itachi The Vampire, The Raw Form. It'll suck, it's in like a script form.

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Itachi the Vampire

Kisame: Hey Itachi are you planning to dress up for Halloween this year?!

Itachi: I don't celebrate Kisame.

Kisame: Oh come on. You have to! Have some candy at least!

Itachi: Go away before I kill you Kisame.

Kisame: Now that's the spirit!

Itachi: (Glares)

Kisame: Oh you mean it. (Walks away and drops paper on "accident")

Itachi: (Picks up paper) What's this?

You're invited to the 15th annual Rouge Ninja Halloween Extravaganza!

Wednesday, October 31st

There will be tons of fun and a costume contest! So dress your best!

Every rouge ninja in the bingo books will be there! From the basic rouge ninja to the baddest of the bad!

(Blah, blah, blah)

We hope to see you there!

Itachi: (thinking) Hmm… I wonder. Should I go?

------Halloween-----

(Random Green Day song playing in background)

Kisame: Hey!! Itachi! You made it!! (Wearing an outfit from the 70's)

Itachi: Shut up. (Wearing umm… black and what looks like fake vampire teeth)

Kisame: I love your costume!

Itachi: I hate yours.

Kisame: (Sulks away and annoys someone else)

Itachi: (Walks up to the bar and orders a Bloody Mary.)

(A/N: Get it! Vampire! Bloody Mary! Get it?! … No?! … Okay… I'm sorry.)

Bar Tender: So what's your story?

Itachi: (looks up and is SHOCKED) YOU!

Bar Tender: Aye, it is. (Walks out of shadows)

Itachi: HOOK!!

Ex. Cap. Hook: Yea, see where they be making me work now? These stupid parties.

Itachi: Aren't you in the wrong show?

Hook: Yea, but I work all the works.

Itachi: I see. (Looks around, knocks Hook over the head with his drink, and runs until he runs into someone)

Orochimaru: Well hello there Itachi.

Itachi: AAAAHHHH!!! (Tries to run away)

Orochimaru: (Holds onto Itachi's arm) Oh come on Itachi, my old gang member.

Itachi: We kicked you out of the Akatsuki because you thought you black and gangster!

Orochimaru: I am gangster. Look at me. (Points to clothes)

Itachi: (Closes eyes) YOU'RE NOT GANGSTER!! (RUNS) (Runs into someone else) Oh crap who is it this time?!! (Looks up)

Random Hot Rouge Ninja Guy (RHRNG for short): Hi.

Itachi: Hi.

RHRNG: I-I like your teeth.

I

tachi: Thanks. (Bites RHRNG)

AAAHHH!! ENDING STORY! Ahem… you don't want to know the end.


End file.
